COLUMBIA --- Mark it down ... Oct. 27, 2012, 2:03 p.m.
Missouri is in victory formation. Tick, tick, tick.
One more snap and it's over. The clock hits 00:00. It's now official.
The Tigers' first-ever win in the SEC.
Pop the champagne! Even if you've had enough Homecoming cheer, pop it and spray it on your neighbor!
So what if they beat the Kentucky Wildcats? So what if Kentucky is a school that's worse at football than it is good at basketball?
And that's saying something.
Missouri 33, Kentucky 10. Happy Homecoming, indeed.
"Well, it feels good to win. It always has, it always will," Missouri coach Gary Pinkel. "I was proud of our team and how they battled.
"We're used to winning around here, so it's been tough. It's great to get back in the winner's circle."
They got back in the winner's circle by playing one of the nation's biggest losers.
Kentucky is coached by a guy named Joker Phillips. No, really, his name is Joker.
No Joke --- even though "Joke" was his name printed on one of Missouri's press releases.
That's kind of sad, really. Joke, or Joker, or Penguin or Riddler --- name your Batman villain --- should get some recruiting tips from John Calipari.
Last week, the Wildcats (1-8, 0-5 SEC) were already been eliminated from bowl contention --- and it's still October. That's like being mathematically eliminated from the pennant race in July.
"Kentucky's had a lot of injuries in the last few weeks and they're going through a lot of stuff," Pinkel said. "Like we have."
This was not an overwhelming display of football prowess. If fans weren't numbed by their Saturday morning, Homecoming, Bloody Marys, then this game probably did the job.
There was, however, a James Franklin sighting in the second half, as the junior quarterback replaced a less-than-stellar Corbin Berkstresser, who was benched after throwing back-to-back interceptions in the third quarter.
"Corbin was struggling; he's not the first quarterback who's ever struggled," Pinkel said.
Franklin has been out with a strained knee and it was obvious he would not run the football. All he did was hand it off and attempt passes more conservative than an eighth-grader on his first date.
"We were very, very controlled in what we did with him in the run and the pass," Pinkel said.
Franklin passed for 16 yards and didn't have a rushing attempt.
"I'm like 90 percent," Franklin said. "I'm pretty sure, unless I get hit by a car or something, that I'll be starting next week."
On this 101st Homecoming for ol' Mizzou --- which is the birthplace of the celebration --- the star of the game was the Missouri defense, which allowed only 179 total yards.
That's a good effort, even against a bad team.
The Tigers forced six fumbles and recovered three. All three led to touchdowns, including a 13-yard return on a scoop and score by E.J. Gaines in the fourth quarter. In the third, a fumble recovery by Zavier Gooden set up a 9-yard, 6-pointer by Marcus Murphy.
"When you get those kind of turnovers --- it's similar to the errors we had against Georgia --- you're just not going to win football games doing that," Pinkel said.
"It was nice to see that on our side of the ball."
And in the first quarter, a rip and strip and 60-yard return by Sheldon Richardson set up a 5-yard scoring run by Kendial Lawrence.
"Those plays are huge," Pinkel said. "I thought the defense played exceptionally well. "
The Missouri offense wasn't that good, but was good enough --- 273 total yards. Lawrence finished with 108 yards rushing and two touchdowns, with his other score coming late in the first half on a 2-yard run.
"We ran a very conservative offense, ran the football, ran the clock ... it's something we haven't done around here in a long, long time," Pinkel said.
Perhaps there's something to be said for old man football, after all.
The Tigers --- who led 10-7 after one quarter, 17-10 at the half and 20-10 after three --- are now 4-4 overall and 1-4 in the SEC.
Are you disappointed? By losing to Vanderbilt, the Tigers are just one game worse than they should be. Did you really expect them to beat Georgia, South Carolina or Alabama?
I didn't think so. Welcome to the SEC. It is what it is.
Next up, a trip to Florida, which will almost certainly be a loss.
"We've got great challenges ahead of us," Pinkel said, "and we're looking forward to it."
Looking down the road, a victory at home against Syracuse would be win No. 5; if Missouri could steal one at either Tennessee or Texas A&M, that would be win No. 6.
If that happens, well ...
The Tigers would be 6-6 and be eligible to play in the Nobody's-Ever-Heard-of-and-Nobody-Cares-About Bowl, sponsored by a rental car company that was formed about 20 minutes ago.
More champagne? Mmmm, I don't think so.
But that would sure beat 4-8.
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