How was your April? Wet enough for you?
We really need rain at our house. It hasn't rained in nearly two hours and the geese are running out of water in the pond.
Of course, we're really not supposed to have a pond. But tell that to the small-mouth bass I caught!!!
Which gave you more April indigestion? Aunt Molly's Easter ham/cranberry/seaweed/tofu casserole surprise (the surprise is that there's no ham or cranberries) or doing your taxes?
I pride myself on three things in April --- not eating Aunt Molly's casserole, sneaking Easter candy from the kids and filing my tax return on April 15. This year, it was a whole different story --- I turned over a new leaf, because what I was doing just wasn't right.
This year, while enjoying my nephew's chocolate bunny (which was hollow, by the way. Come on, sister!), I was able to file my return on April 17.
Sweet.
Ah, April.
A guy named Bubba won the Masters when he hit a playoff shot that was as crooked as a politician. In this case, crooked was a good thing.
Can you name one other person on the planet named Bubba who could break 120? I'm sure there are several Bubbas who own green jackets for fancy occasions, their jackets just don't have the Masters logo on them or get you down Magnolia Lane.
Also, can you name another guy named Bubba who even owns golf shoes?
In the playoff, Bubba beat a guy named Louis. Bubba and Louis --- that's half of a bowling team. Where were Tiny and Lefty? Not sure about Tiny, but Lefty made like a 21 on a par-3 on Sunday and missed the playoff.
The St. Louis Blues won their first playoff series in 10 years, defeating the San Jose Sharks in five games. A Blues column --- with help (hopefully) from KRCG hockey expert Kermit Miller --- is coming soon.
In case you weren't sure, Kermit knows his pucks.
The St. Louis Cardinals and Kansas City Royals got their seasons underway and not much has changed. The Cardinals are good and the Royals wish they were the Cardinals.
Chris Carpenter and Lance Berkman basically haven't played all season for St. Louis. There are surprises in life, but Carpenter and Berkman being on the DL is not one of them.
To be sure, both are fabulous baseball players. But the only thing not fragile about them are their bank accounts.
Back on the scene is Adam Wainwright --- but he's 0-3 with an ERA hovering around Jupiter.
The Cardinals' other four starters, however, have looked like Hall of Famers --- a combined 13-2 with all four ERAs under 3 and three of them under 2, giving the team a comfortable lead in the NL Central.
Jon Jay is making the game look like slow-pitch softball with a batting average of .400 through Sunday. David Freese and Yadier Molina have been great, Rafael Furcal and Carlos Beltran have been good, and everybody else has been good enough.
Are you missing Albert? Entering Monday night, Pujols had as many home runs as St. Louis third base coach Jose Oquendo, Fredbird, the weird guy hanging around Walmart, you and me.
The answer? You are correct, weird guy at Walmart. Zero.
In addition, Pujols was hitting .216 with four RBI. What do you expect for $250 million, Los Angeles?
Back to Missouri ... the Kansas City Royals were mathematically eliminated on April 22. After recently winning three of four, that made them 3-13 in their last 16 games.
There's a great photo circulating, showing the Royals playing the Toronto Blue Jays in Kansas City. There's only one guy sitting in the front row and he's reading a book.
Obviously, it was Baseball for Dummies.
But the Royals joined the record books with the New York Yankees and that must be a good thing, right? Well, the Yankees lost 10 straight home games to start the season in 1913. On the 99th anniversary of that feat, the Royals tied it.
Yes!
The Royals should put geese in the fountains to give the fans something to watch.
They can certainly borrow mine.
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